Perhaps there are none more lazy, or more truly ignorant, than your everlasting readers. - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus
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| Samurai on the toilet |
| A film by Takeshi Kitano |
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| (>_<) |
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| (o_o) |
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| (O_O) |
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| (^_^) |
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| The End |
| Copyright, I970 |
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The Adventures of God
I
God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.
Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.
God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.
(pause)
Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?
God: No. I’m thinking “flood”.
Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-
God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?
II
God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.
Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?
God: Yes.
Moses: Awesome.
God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.
Moses: …ten?
God: Is there a problem?
Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?
God: No. For you see Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.
Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.
God: Yes.
Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.
God: Yes.
Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?
God: ...
Moses: Are there any other God’s up there I can talk to?
III
Mary: Did you send the child support?
God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.
Mary Annnnnd?
God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.
Mary: That’s better.
IV
Job: …
God: Well, this is awkward.
V
God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.
Abraham: As you wish, my lord.
God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] G.B.H. - Destroy
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Wasteland - Fading Light
"No longer talk at all about the kind of man that a good man ought to be, but be such."
Marcus Aurelius
The Offspring - Demons
This is back when they were a decent sounding band. Love the look on Dexter Holland’s face when he looks over and gives a “what the fuck, lol, what’s going on here?” look about the pit being full of skinheads.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Burning Leather - Nowhere To Go
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